Saturday, February 12, 2011

And off to work again, unfortunately.

If my B.P. continues to be elevated tomorrow I may go to Urgent Care. Having consistently high B.P. is not a good thing, my friends. Hello I'm Fat (great post!) So are millions of folks--We're just people!

just gave a @heifer gift that will help a hungry family achieve self reliance: HeiferGifts Sustainable Seafood is better for you and the world. The David Suzuki foundation is about having a cleaner, healthier world. Crock Pot Candy Give the gift of Nature to your Valentine!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Check out Leroy Holmes – The Good, The Bad And The Ugly @lastfm Classic!

Check out Jonah Jones Quartet – Blue Danube Rock @lastfm Yeah, man!

Check out Joe Bucci Trio – Topsy @lastfm This swingin' sound is where it's at, Man!

Check out Ernie Freeman Combo – Rock House @lastfm Let's chill, cats and chicks!

So far so good...I think it's a good night for something fun musically speaking!

Dichotomy of the Evening: If I say I have a beautiful body, do I hold it against me? If so, how?

Well, time to go to work. Hopefully it will be a quiet shift at least. I'd think he likes salad. Silly

Need to get back to work again. Ugh--I hate this! Is there any end in sight? So far all my (admissibly cheap) furniture has been destroyed.

Well, Dahlings, I'm off to purchase a respirator so I can continue working in the back room. If I do say so myself, my life is a strange one

Lindsay Lohan: Twitter, Facebook Confusion (PHOTO)

I very much agree with you. Lindsay Lohan is a troubled person who is overexpose­d by the media. Wishing for her death is horrible. I save death wishes for scum who rape and murder children or torture animals. This young woman may be delusional and have a false sense of privilege, but I think she's rather a lost soul. She certainly isn't in the same club as those who do actual harm. Shame on those who are so heartless as to wish her dead!
About Facebook
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost The mystery of the Moon trees

Wish these mold guys would hurry and get back here. I need to go buy a respirator for working in the back. That stuff they sprayed is deadly Fields with best projected job growth

RT @deadlydolls I think sleep is the most underrated event of one's life. We should all totally do more of it Eating disorders begin at an early age Only wimps engage in canned hunting. Takes a real tough guy to do something like this.

My abode is about to be crawling with service people, Dahlings. The front is sealed off, the back will be temporarily even more unlivable. Normal Eating Defined

It's a tough world these days. My "niece" (family friend) may be homeless soon. My place is damaged but it would be better than nothing.

I will move one more drawer from the bureau and then go out to the all night wal mart to get bins. Mine is such an enviable life, I know!

Oh dear...back to it. At a minimum I wish to get all the drawers from the bureaus moved today.

Working in the back room is awful, Dahlings. Spiders and mold. The mold causes asthma attacks, the spiders may cause heart attacks!

Thursday, February 10, 2011 softcore veg porn WTF

If anyone on my friends list is a member of 4chan they can delete me off their list NOW! I hate this group of stupid trolls w/a passion!

Can anyone tell me what in the Universe "cither" may be? I found it when helping Rose go over her proofs! (The word should be "cider.")

When most hear "mental illness" they think only of those behaving outrageously. But for most sufferers, mental illness is a silent struggle.

Dogs may be more notorious for farting, but cats are just as bad. If they could, they'd ask people to pull their fingers. Believe me! Vaccination associated sarcoma: cats help feed shelter pets, free!

Must help my writing sister Rose proof her galleys. Then perhaps off to bed for my insomniac self. Or perhaps not! Who can say?

Eleventh hour assignment completion time.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Anytime I have to do an A.M. shift I wish I could drink coffee. I can, but only decaf. Caffeine makes me have heart palpitations. :0(

Ask 1 800 Flowers to Offer Fair Trade Flowers That Aren't Picked By Exploited Workers via @change Troubling political issues

All right--one more "heart" request and then it's back to bed for real. I am the queen of disturbed sleep! Try these little bastards as adults. Read the article and sign the petition. Lowlife losers!

And now that I've had a couple of naproxen sodium, how about I try to go back to sleep? I need to be up in 4 hours. Betrayal, Bad Friends, and Old Wounds

Why Should it Matter?

Discover your backbone or grow a fresh one otherwise others will find it easy to roll you out like a doormat. -- BAGGAGE RECLAIM

I'm sure that the chosen icon makes it look like I am suffering romantic disappointment. I am not.  At least there is nothing current. Romance is something that I gave up on long ago. However, I came to discover that friendship can also involve betrayal that hurts just as bad. I also find myself wondering why I don't get over things that a "normal" person would have had done with long ago.
After four months I'm still hurting over a betrayal by someone I considered a friend for a number of years. It is evident that this person never considered me a friend, just someone whose ideas they could utilize for their own purposes. Why I'm not emotionally strong enough to simply cut such a passive-aggressive and ultimately toxic individual out of my mind and heart as I know would be most healthy is a complex thing which goes back to early childhood.
This is not the first such betrayal in my life. I have a long history of inviting in unstable people who I believe are kindred spirits because like me they are artistically expressive in some fashion, and like me, they are also damaged goods in some fashion. But there the similarity ends. These "friends" tend to be angry and have developed a world view where they do not have friends, only tools in human form that they utilize as it pleases them and then dispose of when it no longer pleases them. They have no conscience about behaving this way. 
When one hears of such a person one generally thinks of somebody who puts themselves in the position of a lover. They seduce someone, use them sexually until the initial bloom is off the rose, then toss them aside. The victim of this game ends up wondering what they did wrong, believing that if only they were not so flawed their beloved would not have betrayed them this way. 
However, such betrayals also happen in friendships and other partnerships. While the sense of betrayal lacks the romantic component, in many ways it is no less painful. It does leave lasting scars. The victim of the betrayal is still left thinking "if I weren't so flawed, they wouldn't have abandoned me."
That this feeling pervades even when logic dictates that the supposed friend/trusted partner was really never a friend and never should have been trusted speaks to someone who was betrayed at an early age in some fashion or another. It is not necessary at this time to go into what the betrayals were in my case. But they were there, and from an early age I learned that I was not "good enough" to warrant real friends. I always latched onto anything pretending to be friendship, only to learn that I had attracted another sour vampire needing to feed his or her ego.
I always learn in the end that once you cease feeding the ego of such individuals, they are done with you. They don't have friends. They have components. Everyone in their life fits into the machine they have built to boost their own ego. Once any of these components questions their actions or does not express adulation, they remove the component as easily as they throw out a broken appliance. The emotions of others do not matter to them.
This wouldn't matter if the only people they brought into their lives were at best casual acquaintances. Then the worst that would happen should they give said acquaintance the brush-off would be a bit of a sting which would eventually give way to thoughts such as "what a total fucking tool!" on the part of the cast-off.
When the sour vampire latches onto people who are damaged and desperate to find friends, the outcome is more severe. The "what a fucking tool" thought is still there, but it is complicated by thoughts of "if I weren't such a loser, so and so would still be my friend," and "I know that this person is a jerk, but I wish I didn't know that so we could still be friends." Rather than being a minor injury that is forgotten when the bruise or cut heals, the seemingly minor insult is much deeper than it appears on the surface and leaves a scar on the psyche. 
The psyche of a person who has confidence in his or her self-worth is less likely to be scarred by the actions of such vampires. A person with confidence is also likely more likely to see the vampire for what he or she is from the beginning and deal with them only superficially if at all. 
The walking wounded, on the other hand, tend to be so desperate for friendship that they overlook glaring red flags trimmed in neon revealing the true nature of their "friend." If it doesn't reflect in the mirror and has an aversion to holy symbols, it's probably a vampire. A person with a whole psyche recognizes this immediately. A wounded soul will rationalize, even to the point of saying "so what if he/she is a vampire. They're different from all the other vampires I've been hurt by in the past!"
I don't know if I'll ever learn to like myself anywhere near enough to stop letting the vampires in. I'm hoping that this most recent incident of betrayal will be the last. I'm hoping that in the future I'll recognize the red flags for what they are and say "no more vampires."
The problem is for someone like me that I crave more than superficial connections. Yet it is too dangerous to have any connection that goes deeper.
The vampires, either consciously or subconsciously recognize this. And so they come in and feed. 
I'm tired of being a victim. I wonder if I've finally learned how to recognize a vampire so I will not be one again.

It's not his fault that he's a blood-sucking fiend from beyond the grave...right?

"A psychopath is always in it for their self even when it seems like they are caring for and helping others. The definition of their 'friends' are people who support the psychopath and protect them from the consequence of their own antisocial behavior." - Michael Conner

Tuesday, February 8, 2011 Seven Supremely Douchebag Moves

Off for a day shift--yuck! Much prefer evenings or even nights.

Tempest's son will be home in the next couple of weeks. She will be very happy to see him, believe me!

It is very cold and stormy outside, Dahlings. I would not be sad if today's assignment were canceled. But I'm sure it won't be.

At any rate, the thing that is needed most now is a little more sleep. Hopefully Tempest will not slide off the road on the way to work!

However, unlike in the days of old, Tempest will not trouble herself to beg for friendship with someone who decides to treat her poorly.

It's really a drag, Dahlings, to see activity by someone you were once friends with who decided to be a jerk to you. It makes Tempest sad. Metalheads: the Next Generation Hot & Heavy Action at the Happy Wiener Power to the Rooster

Monday, February 7, 2011 Stupidity that boggles the mind.

Gonna try to get some sleep. I hate when I only have one night to flip between night and day shift schedules. :0p dumb porno cliches Keep cowardly scum in jail.

@andersoncooper I merely thought that you were practicing for the next Talk Like a Pirate Day. Glad you're okay, of course! :-) Rep. Pitts is the pits.

I may try to work on A Princess of Xiumiqa a little bit today. I don't know. much going on, Dahlings! Most of it icky.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Check out "Weird Al" Yankovic – The Alternative Polka @lastfm

Check out Elvis Costello – Alison @lastfm

Check out The Dead Milkmen – Peter Bazooka @lastfm

about to go brave the slickness of the roads to get to work. Hopefully my car won't do what I did earlier. Elbow hurts but only when touched

Ended up going ass over teakettle when I stepped out to take something to the car. Don't think I broke anything but may be sore for awhile.

You know what else I'm missing? Chocolate! Or chocolate covered chandelier bulbs.

Crap, that missing chandelier bulb makes a lot of difference. My eyes are starting to hurt. But I don't wanna go out in the snow to get one. If the internet disappeared today.
12 disastrous literal interpretations of metaphors Make your own biscuit mix.

Redefining Rape a Bad Idea

At this time, federal dollars can't be used for abortion except in cases of rape, incest, or when the woman's life is in danger. But the bill, introduced by Republican congressman Chris Smith, would narrow that use to "cases of 'forcible' rape but not statutory or coerced rape."
The wording of this proposed bill is dangerous and would deny abortions to women and girls who may have been raped while in an altered mental state due to drugs or alcohol and thus unable to consent. It would also deny abortion to anyone who was coerced, perhaps by threat of harm to themself or a loved one. Abortion must remain safe and legal for women of all income levels.
Please sign the petition to say "no" to this dangerously worded and narrow-minded bill.

RT @MoveOn: Stop the GOP attempt to redefine rape and set women's rights back by decades. Sign the petition: dearjohn Don't let politicians redefine rape.

Sneaky Bipolar II

My bipolar disorder (type II) was not diagnosed until I was nearly forty due to the fact that I only have hypomanias rather than full manias. I cannot take antidepressants as they will send me into a full mania. Sedatives make me suicidal and many pain killers actually send me into temporary psychosis where I hallucinate. The only medication that I can tolerate is a low dose of Lithium. 10 subtle signs of bipolar disorder He put words to my thoughts on pornography.

Most people with mental illness are not violent and are more likely to be victimized than to be victimizers. Different approach required for violent mentally ill Warning signs: the difference between eccentricity and violence. Be kind to self.

Wow--28 friend requests! I guess that I haven't logged on in quite some time, Dahlings!