Life for Intersexed Children is Difficult

I wanted to post this comment on Pam's House Blend, but I keep getting a popup that says "Bad Gateway." So I will post it here. The article was in regards to forcing intersexed children to be one gender or the other rather than allowing them to choose when they got old enough to make the decision, and the drastic consequence of making such a critical decision for them.

Thank you to those of you who shared your stories about your experiences. Gender is much more complex than the average person believes it to be. And there is so much stigma if you aren't a "manly man" or a "girly girl." I'm a straight woman who was born female, but I was never a "girly girl" so I got branded a "tomboy" and a "dyke." Being branded a dyke didn't particularly bother me because I figured anyone who refused to be my friend because they thought I was a lesbian wasn't a friend worth having. However I've always hated the term "tomboy." My name wasn't Tom and I wasn't a boy. I was simply an active girl.
But I digress. The situations you are referring to are much, much worse. I myself knew a girl when I was in junior high who came from this horrible, redneck family. She looked and acted kind of boyish, and I always figured she was another "tomboy" like myself. Her hateful dick of an older brother was always beating her up and her parents did nothing about it. I later found out that she was intersexed and the doctors had decided that it would be easier to "make her into a girl" than a boy. I don't know what happened to her. I only know that I liked her no matter what her gender was and I felt sorry for her having to live in that awful family.
I hope one day that minds will open enough to realize that we should treat all people as people, whether they are gay, straight, or bisexual. Whether they are the sex that they were born, or they are transgendered. Whether they are one sex or intersexed. That is the only way to prevent these sad things from happening any more.

Get Well, Pam!

Pam Spaulding, the gutsy webmistress over at Pam's House Blend, a pro-GLBT equality blog, has had surgery for her fibroids. Although I am a straight, natal female, Pam's is a favorite stop. I am a full believer in equality and an end of prejudice towards gay/bisexual and transgendered people. I don't even understand why a there is a question whether or not homosexuals have a right to marry the person they love. I would not care if the person in the stall next to me in the ladies' room was born male but had surgery to transition to female because they had always felt as if they were in the wrong body. I have real issues that concern me. Anyone who is getting bent out of shape about Adam and Steve or Eve and Lilith marrying, or whether Susan, who is in the womens' changing room with them was born Solomon (or Solomon was born Susan) really needs to take a look at their motives. Why would such a thing even begin to concern you?

Pam and I do have something in common. We're both female, obviously. We both suffer from reproductive system issues. I'm not sure if I have fibriods because I haven't been to a gynecologist in more than 20 years. I do know that I have endometriosis. I have always had very heavy periods, which is attributable in part to hypothyroidism. Currently I have had my period for going on three weeks. I attribute this to being peri-menopausal, but if it goes on for much longer I suppose I'll be forced to go to the doctor--something that I don't have the time or money for.

Pam and I also both have fibromyalgia. Mine is fairly mild, but if I get overly tired it feels like I've been run over by a truck. The tiredness leads to more tiredness and to depression. A misunderstood disease, there are still those who believe that its "not a real problem." Believe it or not, some still think that bipolar disorder isn't a real disease either. I would invite them to walk a mile in our shoes and then judge.

One day, thanks to people like Pam, more and more people will become educated about the fact that PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE! It doesn't matter what their sexual orientation or whether they remain the gender that they were born. And mental illness, while a real concern, does not make a person any less deserving of love and respect. Let's treat each other with compassion. It is the one gift that we all can--and should--give to each other.